It is January 1st 2018. This past week I have taken time to gratefully reflect on 2017, for which my #oneword was Breathe. It was on my lips at all times. I consciously took time to breathe, whether to take in a moment or simply to pause the busyness of life. I was able to manage the stresses of moving our family and taking on a new role in a new school district. Last year I need to breathe. Last year I used my own version of the process to find my word and it worked for me. However the challenges that I face everyday give me pause and as I contemplate my #oneword for 2018, I realize I need something more.
This year’s process was much more intentional than last December. I took some time to ask myself what I need. As I thought through what I need it became clear that in different situations I need different things, which led me to divide my needs into categories of work, family, friends, and faith. I was able to generate words describing what I need to be my best me. Some of the repeated words were love, caring, empathy and consistency. The next step for me was to answer the question “What is in my way?” I wrestled with this one as much of what is preventing me from having what I need is in my mind. I realized that my deficit-thinking can be a barrier to the important work that I do, as well as, the interactions that I have with my family. These thoughts led me to the next question of “What needs to go?” That was an easy one! Negativity, self-doubt and guilt all quickly came to mind.
I let all those words and thoughts marinate. I read. I spent time reconnecting with friends and family. I was present. I reflected. I prayed. All the while thinking about the questions I had answered. All the while seeking my word for 2018.
I considered many words including intentional, seek, hope, love, positive, give, and strength. If you have completed this process you will know that it is not easy! And yet in the midst of these potentially wonderful words, another emerged…
Definition of Courage (Dictionary.com) noun
1. the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty,danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.
2. Obsolete. the heart as the source of emotion.
While the definition of courage alone is compelling the Latin root cor of courage held a truth I couldn’t ignore: “from Latin cor “heart” which remains a common metaphor for inner strength.” I need inner strength which comes from my heart.
I need courage to parent. I have to be able to face challenges with my children without fear. I must hold firm to my beliefs while my kids challenge me. Especially with my middle schooler! This is uncharted territory. Being brave is not easy. I also need to be vulnerable so that they can learn with me, from my mistakes. I will be courageous, to dare greatly, without shame, just love.
I need courage to carry out the work that I am passionate about. I need courage to lead with my heart. I have to be brave as we work together to change what school looks like. I don’t have all the answers, no one does. Courage will look different at different times. At this moment in time, I will have courage to stay the course.
I need courage to run. I may fail; I set goals anyways. I know that I am capable of far more than I have accomplished and to that end I will be courageous and train harder. I will have the courage to trust the plan, when temptations to veer off arise.
I look forward to living courageously through 2018.