Being thankful isn’t always easy

As I sit here, following a weekend full of family fun, I want to reflect about how much I have to be thankful for. I really want to reflect. I need to reflect, to focus on this thankfulness. I need to because I often forget to count the blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I need to because it is easy to not do. Right now, this is hard. I am fighting it. I. Don’t. Want. To.

There are days that I get frustrated. Frustrated at the challenging work I am engaged in. Frustrated with not having enough time with my family, to be a mom and a wife. Am I enough at home? Do I spend enough time with my kids and husband? Frustrated with myself for not being enough at work. Are we engaging in the right work? Is our focus clear? Do I make every decision because it is best for kids? That feeling of not enough is insidious. It pervades my thoughts. Am I ever enough? Right now? Probably not… yet. I am still transitioning to this next chapter in my life and I work at it everyday. Some days I make more progress than others. I surround myself with incredible people who lift me up and who I learn from. I ask questions, seek to understand and laugh along the way. And for that I am thankful!

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I am thankful for the people in my life, those who have been here for the long haul and those more recently acquired. I am thankful for my family who provides me a stable base from which to grow and explore. Who also cherishes our moments together and memories created over all else. I am thankful for their love of adventure and willingness to be in the moment. I am thankful for my friends, including those who have come and gone, yet impacted me in some way. Those friends who I don’t talk to as much as I would like, yet when we are back together, feels like yesterday that we saw one another. I am thankful for their understanding that life sometimes gets in the way, but they know that I value them. I am thankful for my education family, both near and far, old and new, who push my thinking and make me a better leader everyday. I am especially thankful for my newest education family at WMS for trusting me as we navigate these new waters!

I am thankful for change. That might sound strange. Who likes change? I do. Even as a teacher I liked that each year was a fresh start with new students. I enjoyed the challenge of keeping my teaching fresh and fun for our learning community. As an administrator, I enjoy the fact that everyday is different and I can’t predict how it will go! It keeps me on my toes! Change is good for me. I am not talking change for change sake. I am talking necessary change to improve our educational practice. Change that focuses on teachers and students building relationships with one another, exploring the best ways for us to engage our learners, and being brave enough to reflect on what we do and adjust course. I am thankful to work in a district that understands that “doing school” is not the work we should be engaged in; we need to transform school for our kids. Now that is an exciting proposition.

While there are times that I don’t feel I am enough, I am thankful for those around me who help me refocus on what matters. I am thankful for the opportunities that have been afforded me both personally and professionally, and I look forward to what is yet to come. I often say to my family, positivity is a choice, you can choose to be negative towards a situation or you can choose to positive. I think thankfulness is a choice too. I chose to be thankful.

What do you choose?

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